


It's Something You'll Get Used To [DISCONTINUED 3/06/20]

by BennyGeckoOfficial (orphan_account)



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: F/M, Hi I'm Chris and idk what I'm doing, Irken Invasion, M/M, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Imprisonment, No beta ride or die lmao, Post-Apocalypse, Reader is honestly just a regular person, Several mentions of geeky shit, Slow Burn, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, Timeskip, but it is happening yall, didn't plan it, haven't decided yet, i suck at slow burn, maybe smut later, maybe? - Freeform, reader has no gender, yeah ya gettin soulmate shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-12-31 03:02:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21058856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/BennyGeckoOfficial
Summary: -a mental mindfuck can be nice! (Yes, I took that from Rocky Horror.)The Irkens have invaded Earth, after lengthy persuasion from Zim, if only to shut him up. They find Earth is plentiful with resources, and take over, using Earth as a means of labor and resources. They begin to colonize, with some Irkens even choosing to live there with lifemates. Some Irkens are even created on Earth.All humans deemed capable of work are sent to work in collecting these valuable resources, and to run businesses for the pleasure of the Irkens. Humans deemed 'defective' (Humans with health issues or mental illness, or who are deemed a threat to the Irkens) are sent to exile, on a continent they are practically unable to escape (Australia).Dib and Gaz Membrane, both deemed defective, begin a small resistance. It's just the two of them - scavenging for supplies and parts as they formulate a plan to overthrow the Almighty Tallest.Zim regrets his compliance in the conquering of Earth and, after lengthy skepticism from Dib, joins the two, forming a trio.You lived a normal life, until this happened. You have your own resistance - you are a lone wolf.Well, you thought.PERMANENTLY DISCONTINUED





	1. Wise Up

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Resistance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20896241) by [JazzyKatz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazzyKatz/pseuds/JazzyKatz). 

> This work was inspired by JazzyKatz's "Resistance". It's my favorite, please check it out!  
Hi, I'm Chris, and I haven't written an x Reader fic since 2015. So this'll be fun!  
A few things :  
\- Reader has no gender specified, uses they/them pronouns. If smut were to occur (still undecided on that), reader will have a vagina.  
\- This takes place during Dib and Gaz's college years. Reader is a college dropout.  
\- Please give me criticism (constructive criticism). I have no beta readers, I'm doing this in my free time, and I haven't written a fic in ages. It'd be much appreciated.  
\- Find me on Tumblr! leisure-suit-chrissy.tumblr.com  
I don't post often but I exist there!  
Now then, on with the show.

You were just a fast-food worker who enjoyed karaoke bars in your free time. That was all. You'd tried college, but your anxiety got the better of you, and you'd dropped out. You felt ashamed at first, until you realized you really had no clue what you wanted to do with your life in the first place. Everything felt like a dead end. You'd slave your life away at a minimum wage job, and that would be that. The world would not change.

Unfortunately, you were wrong about that.

When the Irken Armada showed up, you were confused. Scared. You didn't know what was going on. You believed in aliens, but you knew nothing of this race specifically. Nothing had prepared you for this.  
Earth, as it turns out, was a gem to the Irkens. Rich in resources, and a lovely holiday home for some. A permanent home for some others, actually. And all the labor for the resource-collecting and to serve the Irkens came from humans. Humans deemed capable of work. You, however, were deemed incapable, because of your anxiety - among other reasons.

Yes, to the Irkens, you were a 'defective'. Which, as you understood it, meant that you had some kind of physical or mental condition. Even one that you could reasonably work having (or rather, you _had_ to suck up working with) was a defect to the Irkens. They wanted their workers to be perfect, and compliant. And some defective humans didn't have any conditions at all, but were considered a danger.

So, the bunch of you ended up exiled, on the continent which you eventually realized was Australia. You were surrounded by water, with no way out. But, at least the conditions were livable. They could've thrown you in Antarctica. 

Australia - or as the exiled collectively called it, 'New Hope' - began to thrive in the arts, right under the noses of the Irkens. You yourself were now a performer in a theatre troupe. Other humans exiled used their skills. The buildings you had were primitive, but there were places that cooked delicious meals with the food rations the Irkens would deliver. It was a society of its own, and frankly, the Irkens did not care what you all did there. As long as you were not invading their beloved colonies.

Sadly for them, _you_ were not one who played by the rules.  
You were well-known in New Hope as someone who could get to the United States, where most of the human labor was. You were able to get messages delivered between separated families, you would find the occasional delicacy (something sweet, usually, or meat, which was shared with the people of New Hope).  
You also did some digging around. It seemed like the people of New Hope had settled into their new situation, not caring to try and get out. You were not that type. You'd never known what your future held, but you did not want it to be this. You gathered information or spare parts. Did you know what to do with the spare parts? Hell no. The only thing you knew tech-wise was how to use your old phone to hack into the unmanned delivery aircraft that brought you your supplies. You were able to hitch a ride in it back to the United States, and slip out to do your exploring for a week, before you took another automated delivery pod home. If you could call that place home.

It was strange. You'd never imagined yourself being a rebel. You'd watched a lot of Star Wars, and idolized General Leia. Perhaps you were just trying to do what she would in a situation like this. Instead of being a leader, though, you were a one-man resistance. A lone wolf. You loved the people of New Hope, but you simply couldn't depend on anyone but yourself.

\--

Your eyes slowly opened, and you took in the light coming from the doorway of your abode. You could smell a fire, and some food cooking over it. _Bacon. _You'd brought it back from your last trek and you'd taken three slices for yourself and your best friend. He must have decided to cook this morning, and your suspicions are confirmed when you looked beside of you and saw his bedroll was empty.

Brian was wonderful. You'd known him since middle school, and you were thick as thieves since. You were living with him when the invasion happened, and you were separated from him for days while your working ability was assessed. You'd finally reunited in New Hope, and you can't think of a time you'd ever cried that hard. He was safe. Well, as safe as one could be here. But thank fuck, he was safe.  
The two of you built this abode from scratch. It was small, with no furniture, and a fire pit in the middle. You still liked it better than the dingy apartment the two of you lived in before the invasion.

You stretched out - sleeping on the ground was doing a number on your back - and you stood up, slipping out of the bedroll. Today was the day. Your next trek. He must have been cooking to send you off with something in your stomach. You didn't eat often before your trips, you were much too nervous. Brian, of course, always objected to your trips. He was afraid one day, a delivery drone would return after a week and you would not be in it. He'd never see you again. You insisted, however, that you were safe. Brian did not believe you one bit.

"Howdy, buddy." Brian beamed at you as you stepped over to the fire. Bacon sizzled on a pan he was holding. A pan - oh man, was he excited when you brought one of those back. You never thought someone could be so happy about mere cookware.  
"What's the mission plan for this week? Got things to deliver?"  
  
You nodded, and moved to stand next to Brian, watching the pan.  
"Yeah. Got a few messages for some family members. Got a few requests I should be able to nab when the convenience stores close. A younger kid wanted some Doritos. Haven't heard of anyone wanting those in a while." You laughed dryly. Sometimes, remembering simple things like that from your past life made you happy. Late nights, playing video games, eating Doritos, drinking whatever you'd gotten your grubby little hands on. Plus, you couldn't not take a request when the person was just a child. These were their formative years, and they were living them under an oppressive regime. You'd do anything for them.  
"You want me to keep my eye out for anything specific?"

"Yeah, actually." Brian hummed, pulling the pan away. The bacon was perfectly crisp. He went to plate it on some old china you'd recovered.  
"I'd like some comics. I know there are still vintage comic stores there. Something Marvel, if you've got a choice."

That made memories flood back. Watching Marvel movies with Brian. Geeking out over video games, going to conventions. You'd taken so much of that life for granted.  
"I'll keep an eye out. No promises, as per usual. Not gonna risk my life for you to have something to geek over."

"Understandable. I just want you to know I'd die for Thor, and I feel like you should too."  
He paused.  
"But seriously, don't get hurt."  
His face hardened as he handed you your plate. You took a bite of the bacon as you examined his features. He was understandably upset. His parents were both deemed fit to work, and were somewhere in Europe. You couldn't get there, as much as you tried. His parents were like your parents, really. You'd been in and out of foster care, and the whole time, the constant in your life was Brian and his parents. You missed them, too. And you'd made attempts to get to them. Several, actually, but it simply wasn't safe enough. If you were gone, Brian would have nobody. You never did anything too risky, even if the reward was worth it, because you knew you had to get back to him.

"Hey, I've done this so many times now. Have I ever come back hurt? Plus, what's an Irken gonna do to me anyways? Those assholes have become so lazy. They couldn't lay a hand on me."  
By the look on Brian's face, you knew he was unconvinced. Frankly, you weren't sure you were convincing yourself either. The silence stayed thick around you two as you finished your food, and you set the damaged china aside. You took in a deep breath.  
"...I'll be back. I promise. When it starts getting too unsafe, I'll stop going. But we aren't at that point yet."  
Though, you were quickly approaching that point. The Irkens were cracking down on traitors and imprisoning them. Nobody knew what happened to the imprisoned. Perhaps the Irkens were not as lazy as you'd said. 

"...I know."  
Brian replied, and he finally looked you in the eyes again, the smallest smile on his face.  
"You always come back. I just worry. You risk your life every other week. How could I not?"  
He didn't even know if his parents were still alive. What would it be like to live in a world where everyone he loved was dead?

"That's the spirit."  
You playfully poked Brian on the nose, before you grabbed your bag from the floor. It had everything you needed for your journey. You restocked it weekly just in case.   
"I should get going. Pod will be here in 10, and it takes a few minutes to get the thing under my control."

Brian's smile quickly faded, but he nodded, and he wrapped one strong arm around you.  
"...Be careful. I'll see you in a week. I love you."

You smiled, and returned the hug.  
"I love you too. I'll be seeing you."

With that, you stepped out the door.

\--

You looked over your list of requests as you approached the area where the craft dropped off resources every week. 

_Doritos_

_Deliver Letter to Rhen's Brother_

_Deliver Letter to Mimi's Girlfriend_

_Peanuts_

_Car Batteries_

_Comic Books (Marvel)_

The list was small this week. It was usually larger than this. But you'd returned last week with a nasty gash on your leg. It seemed the people of New Hope didn't want to bother you for another trip, and you did receive some concerned glances as you made your way to the drop-off area. The wound wasn't bad, just needed a few stitches. You'd gotten it climbing a barbed-wire fence. You hadn't been careful. That one was on you.

You had a codename. You were not in the Irkens Human Database, and you did not care to be, should you be captured.  
Sylvanas. You called yourself Sylvanas, after a character in World of Warcraft that you'd loved. The people of New Hope sometimes forgot what your real name even was, just opting to call you Sylvanas. You were fine with that. Your name was not relevant. Your mission was.

You pulled out your old phone. The model must be at least ten years old by now, but it served its purpose. Cell networks did not exist in New Hope. Its sole purpose was interfering with the ship's software. You opened a program, and began typing in numbers and code. You knew nothing about coding. _You _actually hadn't figured out on your own how to hack the ship. You simply offered the idea to an old professor of yours, who tried various things, before coming up with the code you used on the ship. It was a complex code, too. When examined, and even when dismantled, the ship would have no trace of the hacking that had been done anywhere in its software. You expected no less from the professor. You were sure he could do much more if he carried out these missions, but he'd simply responded -  
"Knowledge is nothing without courage and willpower."  
You were sure you didn't have much knowledge worth anything in your past life. Just street smarts, video game skills, nothing marketable. Courage? Maybe you had that. But you had a panic attack on many of the ship rides. Willpower... You could be ok with having that. You certainly did not give up easily.

While your thoughts raced through your head, the ship made its way down to you. You opened the cargo hold, and transported the resources to the ground before you got in. You watched New Hope disappear into a small land mass on a blue-and-green Earth. You were sure this sight would be more beautiful if these were not the circumstances in which you were seeing it.

\--

A black trench coat disappeared behind a building. The man in the coat breathed heavily as SIR units dashed past the building. He'd learned to trick the SIR units. He thanked whatever power there was that those were not Irkens chasing him. They would've been smarter.  
In his hands he held bread and cheese. That would be enough food for today and tomorrow. It was bland, but it would have to do. At least one of his companions could deal with not eating. He was only gathering food for two.

A scan by a SIR unit would identify this human as a most-wanted criminal in the Irken's Human Database. Dib Membrane. Son of the famous Professor Membrane, who had disappeared mysteriously the day before his working ability evaluation. Dib was deemed defective and exiled to New Hope, but he evaded capture along with his sister, allowing them to remain on Earth.  
Dib knew his dad was alive. But where? No correspondence from New Hope said that he was there. Where else could he be? Surely the Irkens would be bragging if Professor Membrane was working under them.

Dib looked around, ensuring the coast was clear, before he made his way back to his trio's base. A dingy, old apartment building near an abandoned fast food joint. He wasn't sure who owned it before, but Gaz was elated to find the stash of video games, comic books, and other things. He knew two people lived here. One was named Brian, he gathered that by looking at the bills that had been set on the counter. But the other, he was unsure. There were no photos of her, and nothing was addressed to her. He could only hope these people were ok, and he quietly thanked them every day for leaving them a base that made this apocalypse feel a little more like home.

When he arrived back at the base, he was greeted by his sister, Gaz, from the couch. She was playing an old video game. One of the Mortal Kombat games. She used those to hone her fighting abilities. She wasn't often one for the violent aspect of their revolt, but she still prepared for the inevitable fights that would occur. He waved at her, and set the food down on the table in front of her.

"I was able to get past the SIR units on the next street over, but barely. I knew they'd been stationed there recently, but I didn't know they were so advanced."  
At the mention of SIR units being advanced, he looked to the figure beside of his sister on the couch. GIR. An extremely defective SIR unit. He was not often helpful, but he provided a bit of happiness in this world.  
"GIR. Where's your master?"  
It was strange to not see the Irkens who had joined them preparing something in the room when he arrived home. He still didn't fully trust Zim to not turn them in. But it'd been two years since Zim joined them, and he'd been on the most wanted list for a year of that. If Zim was going to turn them in, now would be the time.

Poor Zim. He was manipulated by the Tallest - the leaders of the Irkens. The exiled him to Earth under the pretense of a secret mission, and his heart (or whatever Zim had) had broken upon learning they would not be coming to Earth. But he didn't stop trying. He begged and pleaded. And eventually they arrived, if only to shut them up.  
And they loved Earth. Earth was a diamond in the rough. Through all of this, they left Zim behind to do meaningless tasks. Zim came to regret his choice to bring them there. He almost began to think of human life as something precious.

Dib had no choice but to allow Zim to join his duo.

As if on cue, Zim emerged from one of the rooms.  
"Dib! I was starting to think you'd been dissected. I underestimated you!"

Dib groaned. At least Zim wasn't calling him names anymore. But sometimes, he was still a prick. Though Zim's confidence had taken a massive hit when the invasion occurred.   
"No, I didn't get dissected. I got food."  
Dib frowned.  
"...I couldn't find any parts today. How is it coming along?"

Zim looked away sheepishly.  
"...It is not 'coming along'. We still need several parts if our magnificent creation is to work!"

"I assumed as much." Dib sighed, crossing his arms. Parts were hard to come across. Very hard to come across.  
"It won't be any easier to come by them for the next week. The scavenger will be arriving tonight."

That's what he opted to call Sylvanas. A scavenger. To their knowledge, all they did was take things and leave. They did no good. Dib did not hate Sylvanas, simply questioned their motives. He was also rather annoyed with their carelessness at times, which led to heightened security. All they did was make things harder for the resistance. 

"Ah! Sylvanas will be coming?" Zim, despite Dib's thoughts about them, was rather fascinated by the scavenger. They were able to somehow come to this land mass from far away, and not even a picture of them was readily available. Hell, their name wasn't even known by the empire. Dib had heard it from a mere shopkeeper who Sylvanas had bargained with. 

"I LIKE THE SELL VAIN! THEY GAVE ME A COOKIE!" GIR piped up.  
Nobody believed it, but it was true. GIR had met you. You were convinced he was a real SIR unit, until he asked simply for one of the cookies in the box you were preparing to leave with. You obliged, and GIR screamed 'thank you's and gave you hugs.  
  
Zim just looked between Dib and GIR before shrugging. They couldn't exactly stop you from coming. They just had to deal with it.

\--

Your ride was bumpy, and your head hurt. You needed something for that if you were to focus. You roamed the streets, eventually realizing you were on the street you had worked and lived on. It was abandoned. You hadn't been back here in years.

You faced your apartment complex. If nobody had looted it, you still had something for pain in there. And hell, you could get Brian his comics. Maybe snag something for yourself. 

You walked up the steps to your door, and you hesitated before knocking. You hoped nobody was there, and heard nothing when you knocked.

In reality, everyone in your apartment had frozen, and gone cold. Someone was here. This had to be the end.

Hearing no response, you opened the door.


	2. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your apartment holds so many memories. You don't have the luxury of having that life anymore, though.  
But who are these clowns living here?  
And... is one of them an Irken? You have a feeling of foreboding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy y'all. So I got dumped Thursday and I was sure by Friday I'd have the chapter out. Then I had our closing weekend for Rocky Horror where I was Eddie. Chapter is shorter than last because I wanted to get it out to you guys ASAP. So. I hope you guys enjoy.  
Follow me on Tumblr for more updates! leisure-suit-chrissy.tumblr.com

_It was your birthday. Your first birthday living in this apartment with Brian. You'd never done much for your birthday. You woke up, waved bye to your parents, went to school -_  
_Once you'd met Brian, he wanted to go all out and celebrate the day. But, noticing your discomfort with it, he had settled for giving you a special cupcake in the morning. Every year, without fail. One year, he'd been in the hospital after a car accident for your birthday, just for observation.  
_ _But... well, you woke up, got ready, and you weren't sure how, but there was a cupcake on the table before you headed out, with a note from Brian. He never did tell you how he did it._

_On this day, though, he had to do something bigger. You were adults now, and roommates. He absolutely needed to do something. So before work, Brian had set a few things on the table._

_The box set of Futurama, a band hoodie for your absolute favorite band, and... concert tickets. Concert tickets, for your favorite band.  
You'd squealed, and when Brian got home that day, he had a cake. You gave him a huge hug, and you ate cake while watching Futurama all night._

_\--_

-and now, here you stood. You were inside your apartment again for the first time in years. You had four pairs of eyes on you. Two humans - you recognized these humans as Professor Membrane's children, Dib and Gaz. And next to Gaz was that little SIR unit you'd given a cookie too. He was the only one of the four who was not simply staring. He waved excitedly at you, smiling wide.   
There was an Irken, too. No disguise. Beady, purple eyes stared at you. His antennae flicked. His jaw had dropped.

Oh, no.

Oh, shit.

This was it. You were trapped. No way out. You _weren't _making it home to Brian safely. You gulped, and assumed a much more confident stance, staring the Irken down.  
This Irken... This was Zim, wasn't it? Yes, it had to be. He was very short, and held himself in a particular way. You'd seen photos of Zim circulating as propaganda in the first few days following the invasion. You were certainly not aware that Zim had stopped being the posterchild for the invasion just a day after you arrived in New Hope.

The tension in the room was broken by GIR's cheerful voice.  
"SEAL VAIN! YOU'RE BACK!"  
The SIR unit jumped off the couch and ran over to hug your legs.

Your eyes flickered down to GIR, before you looked up at Dib. His expression had softened a little, and he had begun to relax.  
"...Sylvanas." He echoed your codename, and stepped over to you.  
"The scavenger. Right? That's you?"

Scavenger? You supposed one could call you that. You took what you could, but you never took from anyone but the Irkens... you thought.  
"...Yes. That's me." You replied, nodding.  
"Although 'scavenger' is a strong word. I simply come and gather what I can for New Hope from the Irkens. I occasionally go and find family possessions for people. Sometimes I'll bargain with a human shopkeeper. Other times I deliver messages between separated family members."

At this, Dib's nervous expression curled into a small smile. "So... you aren't a bad guy. You aren't here to turn us in?"

"Turn you in?" You just laughed. "The guy who conquered Earth is right beside you, and you think _I'll _turn you in? This is my apartment! I'm just happy it hasn't been looted yet!"

"This domicile is yours?" Zim spoke up, and you locked eyes with him. He almost seemed afraid of you, though. Perhaps... a bit fascinated?  
"It is very nice. It has provided us shelter and secrecy for quite some time now. And you have some very... interesting possessions. Your pet... this... Dib, what is it called again?"

"An axolotl." Dib replied.  
"It's an amphibian. A water salamander of sorts."

"Rocky?" You piped up.

\--

_You loved seeing pictures of axolotls, and watching videos of them. They were adorable. You and Brian were obsessed. You were also obsessed with a little musical called Rocky Horror, and you were heading home from a rehearsal for said musical. You needed to stop and get something from the pet store. Just as a joke, really. The two of you had a pet rock, and you'd get it squeaky toys occasionally. Your friends thought you needed a new hobby._

_And in the pet store, you saw him. A black, fluffy-gilled little critter._

_The two of you had immediately purchased Rocky, a 50-gallon tank, a filter, all the goods a little axolotl could possibly need. He was there for you up until the invasion. You'd assumed he died without a caretaker. _

_\--_

But it appeared Dib and his friends had shown up in time to keep the guy alive, as Dib moved. And on the desk was a tank, with Rocky inside. He was so much bigger than you remembered! You squealed, and ran over to his tank (GIR had let go of your leg), looking down at the little guy.  
"You've been taking care of him all this time?! Thank you! Thank you!"  
You couldn't remember the last time you'd smiled this much. Unbeknownst to you, Zim was looking at you with an endearing expression. Despite everything he had heard about this tough, sneaky criminal from New Hope, underneath your tough exterior... You were just a young adult, who was somehow still able to have wonder in your eyes. And you'd barely been given the chance to live your life after high school before everything happened.

Zim felt guilty. He was burdened with this feeling of guilt every time Dib came home with scrapes, or they had nothing on the dinner table that night. He'd grown used to the feeling, as much as he hated it. Eventually, your sparkling eyes turned back to Zim, and your face fell just a little.

"...So why are _you_ here?" You questioned, cocking your head, and it seemed like once again you were putting on that tough guy act. An act which you'd had to put on for quite a long time now if you had any hope of surviving. 

"I... The Tallest, they did not care for Zim. Zim was simply a pawn in their game. Nothing, to them... Zim- _I,_ rather-"  
Zim had gotten better at speaking in the third person. He'd lost a lot of the confidence that led him to do that in the first place.  
"I was tossed aside. And I regretted what I'd done to this planet. So I found The Dib, and joined him on his mission."

"What mission?" You crossed your arms. It did seem odd that the so-called conqueror of Earth had fallen so far, but the son of Professor Membrane would've surely kicked him out at this point had he suspected anything.

Dib cleared his throat.  
"We are on a mission to overthrow the Irken Empire, and reclaim Earth for ourselves. There are only three of us right now-"  
He corrected himself after he heard a robotic squeak.  
"-and GIR. But we have great ideas, and blueprints! Just..." He trailed off, and Zim finished his sentence.

"We lack most of the parts to make our great inventions. Without them, we stand no chance."

The energy in the room became solemn. You processed this for a moment. You had a hoard of parts back on New Hope. Could they use those? Why should you trust them, though? You'd always tried to trust everyone, but after the invasion you could trust nobody. Except for Brian. And.. and yourself, though you doubted even that at times.  
This was your only chance, though. Nobody on New Hope would work with you. You would die on New Hope, under tyranny, if you continued as you were.  
You might die if you helped these people, but at least you would have tried. After about a minute, you finally spoke.

"I have a whole shack of parts on New Hope. I'm sure you could find some of what you're looking for there. As for anything you're unable to find, I have ways of getting things. I know people."

The three almost looked shocked (GIR was still being his happy, go-lucky self).

Dib's mind raced. You were known for being a lone wolf. You did not work with people. And if you joined them, you could betray them easily. Dib didn't know you. Nobody here knew you. Only your codename. Not even your real name!

When Dib looked between Gaz and Zim, though, it was rather clear they'd made up their minds. Even if something went awry, this was their only chance. And Dib knew it.

Gaz stood, and stepped up close to you. She was taller than you, and she just looked down.  
"...If you try and cross us, you'll return to New Hope a bloody pulp. Understand?"

Gaz intimidated you, actually. You hated to admit that. Your posture remained firm, but you gulped.  
"Understood. If we leave soon, we can catch one of the pods transferring new defectives to New Hope."  
You didn't need a whole week here. You could find most of what you needed here, and you could deliver messages another week.

Everyone began gathering resources. Dib and Zim gathered their tech and inventions. Gaz gathered your old video games - not that you minded, they made her happy.  
GIR was able to find three bags of Doritos. They were stale, but nobody cared about stale food anymore. Food was food.  
You, on the other hand, found some old photo albums you'd stashed away, and shoved them into an old school backpack.  
Thanks to a last-minute invention by Zim, it seemed Rocky would be coming along. Brian would be so happy - you had the pet the both of you shared, and most of his comic book collection. You grabbed plenty of small items that held sentiment to you - some of which were absolutely useless in your society, but were nonetheless very nice to have.

You found some old CDs, and a CD player. Knowing you still had some time, you put the disc for _The Rocky Horror Picture Show, _and you listened. The song you picked seemed appropriate. You even sang along with some of the chorus parts. You'd hadn't sang in a very, very long time.

_-On the day I went away,-_

_"Goodbye-e-e-eye..."_  
_-Was all I had to say,-_

_"Now I-I-I-eye..."_  
_-I want to come again and stay,-_

_"Oh my my-eye-eye..."_  
_-Smile, and that will mean that I may...-_

When you hit the chorus for the song, you were belting it out, unaware that Zim was in the doorway, grinning slightly. What? It was a musical about aliens. Of course he'd listened to the music. Plus, it was one of the only CDs you had.

_"Cause I've seen blue skies,_

_ through the tears,_  
_In my eyes,_  
_And I realise, _

** _I'm going home._ ** _"  
_

You turned off the CD player, and were brought back to reality by Zim's slow clapping from the doorway.  
"You're quite good, for a human. I do enjoy all the discs you left behind. They've proven quite entertaining."

"Oh-"  
You forced a little smile. You weren't embarrassed. This was the apocalypse, why should you be embarrassed being caught singing along to a song. Still, Zim's presence surprised you.  
"Yeah, this show... man, I loved this show. Every time someone did it, I'd go see it."

"Zim never really had the chance to see... these shows."  
You frowned. He was right. In disguise, he wouldn't have. And now, these sorts of things did not happen. But...

"Well, in New Hope, we put on shows like this. You could go see one sometime. Give yourself a break from all the inventing."

"...Sylvanas." He sighed, and gave you a sad smile.  
"People like us, we do not feel we can take breaks. We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders."

So, he'd already been able to figure that out about you? Fair enough. He didn't even know your name. He needed something to go off of. You checked the clock and sighed.  
"We need to be going if we're going to have a setup in New Hope by tomorrow."

\--

It was much easier to hack into one of the unmanned ships with the help of Dib and Zim. Although, they praised the code that you had provided. You'd have to introduce them to your professor. Dib especially seemed impressed with the code. He'd developed a fondness for the "real" science his dad had pushed so much. It was helpful in these grim times.   
You were actually able to hack into a ship that wasn't already carrying people, disable its tracking, and ride in that. The Irkens would be none the wiser. 

The ride was quiet. The tension hung like fog. None of you knew who to trust, but you knew that trusting those in this ship was your only chance at freedom from this oppressive society. So... So, you had to. You just had to. For Brian, for that little girl who wanted Doritos, for the families separated for years.

You had no choice. You thought about what Zim said earlier.  
_"People like us, we do not feel we can take breaks. We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders."_

Perhaps he was right. You worked constantly for the people of New Hope. Today was the first time in a long time you'd shoved something into your bag that was just for you. You couldn't remember the last time you had...

You'd grabbed a teddy bear, of all the things you could've. Your mother and father gave it to you at a young age. It was sentimental to you. It'd be helpful for grounding yourself during panic attacks. You didn't exactly have any medication anymore for your anxiety. How you were able to do what you did was a miracle.

Dib finally spoke up as you all passed a few planets.  
"...They'd be so much more beautiful if we weren't seeing them under these circumstances."

You smirked, "You know, I was just thinking the same thing on my way here."

Zim smiled, "Why, when this invasion is finished, Zim could show you both more beautiful galaxies than you could possibly imagine!" He seemed awful proud of himself. You wondered what he was like before this. Every time he spoke like this, there was a hint of confusion on Dib's face. Gaz seemed as though she couldn't care less - she had one of your old portable game consoles. 

"I'd... like that, Zim." You replied slowly.  
"It is painful to see outer space given these circumstances. I want to see the universe. All its beauty..." You sighed happily, and Zim and Dib smiled back at you.

"...I'd also like that." Dib replied, the confusion melting from his face.

"Sure, sure. I guess I'm in." Gaz replied after a short silence.  
"An outer space road trip does sound nice."

This was nice. Making plans for after the invasion. Many of you were skeptical that you would be alive for that outer space road trip, but it was nice to have something to look forward to. 

The rest of the ride was silent. Everyone had something rushing through their mind. Everyone was scared. It would be ok, you assured yourself. Everything would be fine. You began to approach New Hope and you smiled. You were... happy.

After all -

_ **You were going home.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the title of this fic was meant to be a reference to a musical (Rocky Horror) and the title of Chapter One was also named for a song in the same musical.  
This chapter wasn't meant to be a reference to Cats. But here we are. So I guess we'll have a pattern here.  
Thanks again for bearing with me through my little bout of bad things. I'll work on Chapter Three ASAP. I don't have many plans now that my show has ended, so! Yay.  
Check my Tumblr for updates, to send questions, and all that jazz.  
Song at the end is 'I'm Going Home' from Rocky Horror.  
leisure-suit-chrissy.tumblr.com


	3. Freeze Your Brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get lost in the pain.  
Happiness comes when everything numbs, who needs cocaine?
> 
> You arrive back at New Hope to begin work on your resistance's base of operations. Brian is concerned. Zim is curious.  
You just want to feel numb. Strange emotions have been prodding at you. Emotions will derail your mission. You end up talking life with Zim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are continuing the theme of songs from musicals as chapter titles! This is my brand now, I guess. Here's a day-after update to make up for my absence.  
I'm now accepting requests on my Tumblr (leisure-suit-chrissy) for Any Invader Zim Character (18+) / Reader. Just drop a comment, send a message, what have you. (Send Membrane ones, he's my favorite.)  
NOTICE : Reader drinks in this chapter.

You landed the ship in a discrete place. You didn't need any of the inhabitants of New Hope freaking out after seeing an Irken. You landed the ship in a secluded place, helped everyone unload it, and sent it on its way when it was empty.

"Alright. All of you. Remain quiet. We'll be heading to the shack near where I live. You can all sleep at my place, we have the room, and the shack is only really big enough to be used as a lab of sorts. There's already a metric fuckton of parts in there. We'll need to organize. Maybe build some tables, shelves..."  
You were already ready to get started on everything. You needed something to distract you from...  
From something. _Feelings_. You were feeling things you had not felt in a long time towards this band of rebels. Dib had a... charm to him. He was intelligent, and knew more things about the Irkens than you did. Gaz was someone that, in another life, you would've been best friends with. Video games, pizza, all the works. You could've been great friends if this wasn't what had brought you together. GIR was a joy. A ray of sunshine in a dreary world. And Zim... was what he was saying true? He gave up his home, everything he had, just because he felt he'd made a mistake. That was commendable. 

You tried to stifle these odd feelings you harbored for these people. The appreciation, the admiration... the feelings of a possible friendship. You had to stifle them for your own safety. It was unwise to be 'friends' with anyone in these times. The exception, for you, was Brian. You'd already known him. You could trust him.

You suddenly wanted to feel numb, as you dropped off the parts in the shack. While Dib wanted to examine what you had, you decided it'd be best to return to your home while it was still dark. Someone catching Zim and GIR would be a problem. Dib reluctantly agreed, and you entered your home with your four companions. Brian was cooking, and turned to the doorway - he hadn't expected you back this early. He looked at you and the others, shocked,

A flurry of emotions rushed through Brian's head. His best friend was home safe, and back early, thank fuck. But with them... with his friend were the Membrane kids, an Irken, and a SIR unit.  
An Irken. You'd brought an _Irken_ to your safe haven. And _Invader Zim, _no less! He was happy, but mad, but confused, but...  
He blinked at you a few times, and took a deep breath.  
"I'm not ready to process this right now, dude. I'm going to bed. Have an explanation for me in the morning."  
Brian went to the room with his bedroll, and you sighed, looking back at the four.

"Sorry. Brian is... a bit sore with Irkens, and trusting others. He was separated from his family. We still haven't located them."  
You frowned.  
"But I'll explain everything to him tomorrow. I can find some blankets for you guys to sleep on..."

Before anyone could respond, you were looking through a box for blankets. You wanted them to go to sleep, so you could break out the bottle of whisky and pretend everything was ok.  
Happiness came when you were completely numb. You pilled out pillows and blankets and set them out on the ground. You softly mumbled a 'sleep well' as you grabbed the bottle from a box and headed out to the shack.

\--

The shack was fairly full now, but you did what you could to organize the parts into piles. You'd definitely have to build shelves and a desk - which was no issue, Brian had built the small amount of furniture you possessed in your house. Hopefully he wouldn't mind building a little something for the lab.  
You twisted open the cap on your whisky, and took a swig straight from the bottle. Alcohol was hard to come by in these times. When you found it during your weeks in the United States, you did not often share. You were allowed things for yourself, sometimes. And you needed this. You needed something to relax. You had no way to get your medications anymore... Maybe you were defective.

You took another swig. You felt miserable and scared.

\--

Zim watched you from the doorway of your house, looking out at the shack. 

Even before meeting you, he'd always wondered what went through your mind. It had to take a toll on someone's mind to go out every other week and risk their life. You were a legend whispered throughout those on Earth. Nobody could remain that strong through the things you'd been through, no matter how hard they tried. 

He'd heard that you had sustained many injuries from falling, climbing, and once you sustained a burn from a SIR unit. Zim had heard that you'd once pleaded with a shopkeeper for some sort of pain medication, as you'd run out on New Hope. You offered the shopkeep a bracelet you were wearing. Zim wondered what that bracelet had meant to you.

Zim did not blame you for drinking. He'd once tried alcohol, and he did not like it. He came to realize, however, that many humans did not like the taste. Humans drank to feel free, if only for a night.

\--

"So, are you just gonna sit there staring?"  
You'd noticed Zim a few moments ago, and you were just grinning. You didn't even know what was up with sleep and Irkens. However, despite that, you knew tonight sleep would not come if he needed it.

Zim jumped a little, but grinned back, and he stepped over to you, sitting down beside you in the shack. He knew you'd see him, eventually. Even at night, on a safe haven, you were on guard.  
"I suppose not. I simply wanted to see how you acted when you were not forced to put on your act."

He didn't have to explain what act, and you wouldn't pretend you didn't put one on. Maybe at night, you let the act down a bit, but only a bit.  
"I am one of the only hopes these people have of a decent life. If you could call this decent..."  
You set the bottle down.  
"I cannot show them that, at times, I am weak. But truthfully?"  
You laughed. You didn't know why you were opening up to an Irken. Perhaps because he had as much to lose as you. You hadn't spoken to anyone about any of this in a long time.  
"Truthfully, I am terrified. I know one day I won't return from a mission. I know one day, the Irkens will realize we are nothing but a waste of resources. Either way... I do not foresee my life being very long."  
You shifted in your spot.  
"The 'act' is necessary. I need to appear a threat to the Irkens. Not just some... some punk who's doing their best."

Zim listened intently, something he would've never done when he was a mere alien in disguise, waiting for Earth's doomsday to come. He had changed a lot. In a way, his 'act' had fallen a long time ago, because there was no point when it was only three others. But you had a whole continent.   
"I... cannot say I've ever felt similarly."  
He definitely had felt similarly. Many times.  
"But... I like this version of you. The version that came out when you were singing. Who you are now."

You laughed again, twisting the cap onto the whisky.   
"Nobody except Brian has ever liked that version of me... who I am. School was hell. My parents were awful. Every date I'd ever gone on, they figured out an excuse to dash out early."  
You finally frowned.  
"...You're not _supposed _to like me like this. I'm not cool. I'm not badass. I'm just confused, I don't even feel like an actual functioning adult... I'm not Sylvanas. Sylvanas is someone everybody looks up to. Why would anyone look up to me?"

Zim nodded.  
"...Do you believe the Dib was happy when Zim came knocking at his door, pleading for help? I tried to dispatch Dib for many years. Of course he did not trust me! But eventually, he let me in. He is a brilliant scientist, and a good friend."  
Zim cracked a smile at you.  
"I think people would still like you, if they saw you like this. I do not think they would think less of you. I like you like this."

You sat there and took that in. Zim... liked you, when you let your emotions be free. You hadn't felt so real in such a long time...  
"Thank you, Zim. I think you and your friends being here will make this whole situation much less miserable. Even if we don't succeed... I will fail with wonderful people by my side."

You let yourself drink a little more, and laugh with Zim. You fell asleep in the shed, leaning on Zim. Zim did not mind that one bit. 

\--

Brian made breakfast for everyone, and while they ate, the two of you went outside, and you explained everything to him.  
Brian expressed his worry and distrust for these people, but reluctantly he respected your decision.

"I just don't see how you could be friends with someone who tore apart my family. Someone who nearly tore _us_ apart. What would life be like for us if we were just alone?"  
Brian would admit to being a little mad. You should've asked first.  
Not like you could've.  
"What... What about everything we saw?"

Your mind flashed back to the screams, and the destruction. The people clinging to their loved ones as the Irken Armada descended upon Earth.  
You were scarred by that day, and you glared at Brian. That was a topic you had agreed to not speak of. 

Brian sighed.  
"...Sorry. I know. We don't... talk about that. But please. Think about this..."  
  
You stood up a little straighter, and looked him right in the eyes.  
"...They are our only chance, Brian. You know that."

Brian paused, before nodding. He knew that, deep down.  
"...I'll go get to building that desk and installing those shelves. Check back later."  
He smiled softly at you.  
"...Love you, tiny."

You grimaced at the name, but couldn't help but smile. Brian was always _much_ taller than you. So... you were his tiny.  
"Love you, too."

\--

Dib and Zim had gone out looking for parts. They hadn't yet looked through what they had in the shack, but it was nice to look. And thanks to the combination of Zim and Dib's technology, Zim now had a much more human disguise. He looked human. No more green skin. Just... Normal. GIR had a better disguise, too. He wasn't one to stop talking, so GIR was no longer a dog. He was a human child.

You had opted to stay behind with Gaz, in case something happened. You'd found a car battery and an old TV, and you were able to hook up an old Nintendo Switch.  
Your face lit up when the screen turned on, and Gaz smiled. She knew from the start you were just a normal person who got excited over geeky things. You hadn't seen a game system in years, and now you were about to play a video game! This brought back so many good memories.

You learned, through talking with Gaz, that the two of you were very alike in some ways. Even if you took away the video game aspect of your friendship. Was it a friendship...?  
You shouldn't be making friends with these people. But after your talk with Zim, you felt much more free. You felt alive.

"So," Gaz began.  
"What do you think of the others?"

You shrugged.  
"They're kind, and they know what they're doing. I can't formulate an opinion on them quite yet. You're the first person from your group I've spent time with."

"Oh, really? So why were you asleep on Zim's arm last night?"  
You paled, and gulped, and Gaz just laughed.  
"I'm just giving you shit. But I know you talked with him for a while. And you're acting different today."  
  
You bit your lip.  
"Maybe I am. But you have to keep in mind, I've only had contact with the people in New Hope for a long time now. Fresh faces are rare."

Gaz nodded, conceding. In her mind, though, she was very aware of how Zim felt, and was sure you felt the same. Because, you'd taken off your shirt to find another. And on your chest-

\--

Zim had explained it to her once.  
"Yes, we do have your human concept of soulmates, but we're genetically modified so that it's never unclear to us who these soulmates are. Humans sometimes never meet their soulmates?"

"So, how do you know? Some kind of cliche fanfiction bullshit? Tattoo on the arm?" Gaz took a bite of her cereal. Dib was off finding parts. She did enjoy her conversations with Zim, honestly, now that he wasn't acting like a pompous prick.

"Certainly not! When an Irken meets their soulmate, a scar will appear on their chest. It is rare that we get scars, so it is easy to tell when we have met our soulmate!" He seemed quite proud of this. The scar, Gaz learned, was often just a normal scar. But with particularly intimate relationships, it may be something more meaningful.  
"Each Irken in the pair will have one, and they match."

"What if your soulmate isn't an Irken!"

"Preposterous! No Irken has ever had a soulmate of another race."

Gaz just shrugged, and went back to eating.

\--

Gaz grinned at you as you searched for a shirt. Right there, on your chest, was a scar. She hadn't seen you without a shirt before, so this could very well be a normal scar.

Only, this scar was vaguely shaped like a dog head. GIR's dog head.

Gaz decided to ask about it.  
"How'd you get that scar?"

"Which scar?"  
You had plenty, and you looked down at your chest. You noticed the new scar. Puzzled, you raised an eyebrow.  
"This one? This is new. I don't remember getting injured there. That's odd."

It was all but confirmed for Gaz. You were Zim's soulmate. She'd just have to see about any potential scars Zim had.

\--

It was hot out where Zim and Dib were. When Dib stopped for water, Zim pulled the shirt of his disguise off, hoping it would help to cool him down.  
He noticed it immediately.  
When did this appear? He never remembered it being there. It had to have appeared during the invasion, when he was around other Irkens.  
It couldn't be you, could it? That wasn't possible. It had never happened before.

"Everything ok?" Dib called, as he capped his bottle of water.

"Everything is fine!" Zim forced a laugh.  
"We should be going. We have quite the treasure trove!"

\--

They returned to the house, where you were waiting. Brian showed off the lab, proud of it, and you and Dib went to work on organizing. Gaz pulled Zim aside quickly, saying she needed him for some sort of information on Irkens. Neither you nor Dib questioned it, you had a lot of work to do preparing this lab.

"Did you get it?" Gaz simply asked. 

Zim knew what she meant. "Yes. I found it earlier."

Gaz grinned.  
"Great. They've got it too."

Zim almost went into panic mode.  
"Don't joke about things like that! That isn't possible. Not at all."

"But you didn't know it wasn't possible. You just said it'd happened before. Well, guess what. It's happening now."  
Gaz shrugged.  
"I'm going to play Mario Kart. Don't bother me."

Zim could only stand there in shock. You were his soulmate.  
After lengthy thought, Zim decided this did not change anything. He did not have to act different around you. There was no time for relationships in this world. He'd only bring you down.

Zim took a breath, and walked back in the shed to help you two. He'd become quite good at suppressing feelings. Once his heart stopped racing around you, he was pleased this was one he was able to suppress. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for soulmate bs so GUESS WHAT YOU'RE GETTING! hah  
I'm above NOTHING never assume I am.


	4. You Matter To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (The first It's Something You'll Get Used To chapter to abide by song lyrics as a structure! Because I love this song so much.)  
(This chapter is sort of filler, and takes place over the course of several days.)  
Zim tries to forget the soulmate scar on his chest. You learn a little robotics from the boys, and Gaz tries to get into your mind a little. You have a riveting chat with your axolotl. Your shell cracks a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i aggressively look through my spotify recently played to find the titles for these chapters.  
also! i'm starting a membrane/reader be on the lookout for that.  
i've rebranded! my tumblr is now lowdown-cheap-little-punk.tumblr.com (no longer leisure-suit-chrissy)  
also add me on discord if you want lol - Low-Down Cheap Little Punk#4236  
TODAY is my axolotl Rocky's gotcha day! one year since i've had him. he's the inspo for Rocky in this fic. happy gotcha day bb.
> 
> also the song inspo for this chapter is one of my favorite romantic musical songs so i used lyrics from it. sue me, i love Waitress. (lyrics are in bold and in order, obv credit goes to Sara Bareilles)

**I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes.**

**They've seen things that you never quite say,**

Zim wondered what you'd gone through, before and during the invasion. You would have moments when your face would go blank, or you would put all your focus into one thing. Other times you would take a walk or pace. You were anxious, all the time. He wanted you to talk to him and explain. After all, you were his...  
_No._ No, Zim was trying to forget the new scar on his chest. Soulmates meant nothing in today's world. You hadn't found someone to love in the many years you'd been in New Hope. Why would you now?  
He'd even asked about it, once.

_"Dating?"_  
_You laughed out loud, having to take a minute to try and not choke on your dinner._  
_"No, no! Are you kidding? I don't have the time for that. I leave for days at a time and risk my life. Having friends is difficult enough!"_  
_You rambled on.  
_ _"Plus, where would you go on a date in this place, huh? What would you even do?"_

_Zim had ideas. But it was best he didn't say. You seemed to have your opinion on the matter set, and it did not change._

**-But I hear,**

**"Come out of hiding,**

**I'm right here beside you."**

**And I'll stay there as long as you let me.**

Robotics was far more fascinating than you'd anticipated. You mostly observed, though Zim and Dib allowed you the chance occasionally to help with the screws or holding things in place. You didn't know enough yet, though, to actually help with the device. You asked time and time again what this 'groundbreaking invention' of theirs was. They never said. Not because they didn't trust you, but because they didn't want to get your hopes up. They didn't know if it would even work. Unfortunately, even with your contribution to the parts, there were some missing. You'd have to go back to the U.S. eventually, and soon, to find what was needed.

Nobody was too excited about that idea. But you all knew that it was needed, for the invention to be complete, and for all of you to have edible food. You were running out, it seemed.

_ **"Because you matter to me,"** _

That was Zim's constant answer in his mind when you asked why he cared so much about your leaving. He never said it out loud, but it was clear to him. He could deny the soulmate thing, he could deny that he was falling for you, but he couldn't deny - 

** _"Simple, and plain, and not much to ask from somebody,_ **

** _You matter to me."_ **

You'd set Rocky up in one of the rooms that you considered 'yours'. It had a few of your possessions. Brian had installed a shelf for your beloved pet, and thanks to a car battery and the supplies you'd found next to him when you'd gone to your apartment, his filter was working, and he seemed happy, swimming around the tank. Zim even knew a bit about nature and plant life, and helped you find some aquatic plants that were safe for him and wouldn't require sunlight.

You had a desk next to Rocky's shelf, and would often work on things while he swam beside you. Sometimes he'd swim to the side of his tank and watch you.

"Hey, buddy."  
You grinned at the axolotl, and looked between him and your paper.  
"What, this? I'm just working on some plans to expand this place so everyone can have their own room. Don't worry, though. Brian says I can keep you in mine. But he wants you on weekends."  
You giggled, shaking your head. These conversations with him were... nice. You were talking to yourself, sure, but you _weren't._  
"What, Rocky? Jealous of my new friends?"  
**_"I promise you do, you-_**

** _You matter too."_ **

You remembered those lyrics from an old musical, and you looked to the CD player you'd taken from the apartment. You'd play music another time.  
"You don't know how happy I was to see you alive, Rockstar." Your expression fell a bit.  
"You're really important to me. I thought you were gone. But you were there. Like nothing bad had happened. Like... like nothing had changed from when I last saw you, even though _everything_ has changed!"  
You nervously laughed, feeling tears prick at your eyes. Nobody was inside. You could let yourself cry around Rocky. Just not anyone else.  
"_Everything _has changed. But, still, Rockstar..."  
**_"I promise you do, you'll see,_**

** _You matter to me."_ **

**It's addictive the minute you let yourself think-**

**The things that I say just might matter to someone.**

**All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away...**

You were always focused on your plans. What you'd do when this was over. You never focused on the present moment, trying to form relationships and exist in the moment. Gaz and GIR actively challenged that. The only difference was Gaz knew she was, and GIR was just overjoyed to join the two of you for your daily video game session. You were able to focus on the video games. The moment. You vaguely recalled that your therapist called this 'mindfulness' and you always struggled with it, always. Gaming took your mind off of things, though, whether you liked it or not. Gaz would ask questions. She was sort of a friend, you didn't mind. She wanted to know about you.  
Unbeknownst to you, she was also invested in this 'soulmate' thing. But not as invested as she was in becoming your friend.

_One day Gaz turned to you after pausing the game. She set her controller down, and looked you straight in the eyes, and she asked a question that you knew you'd have to answer one day, but you'd never wanted to answer, even for yourself.  
_ _"What're you gonna do if we don't free ourselves? What's the plan then?"  
_ _You'd considered many times that your plans could fail, or never come to fruition, and you'd be stuck in New Hope for the rest of your life. But you didn't want to think of what you might do if that would happen.  
_ _"I don't know. I've never considered it." You admitted, twiddling your thumbs.  
_ _"I thought that living the rest of my life in New Hope was the worst outcome in the world. Anything could be better than this."  
_ _But now you had Gaz. GIR. Dib, Zim... and you'd always had Brian. And you had people who looked up to you, and admired you.  
_ _You had Rocky. Life was reaching... a strange normalcy. Being in New Hope, living like you were, it was actually becoming normal. And the weird thing was, you didn't mind it. Gaz stared at you as you processed all of this.  
  
_ _"So...?" Gaz broke the silence.  
  
_ _"...But I'm starting to like it here." You admitted, gulping, "A-And...-"_

** _"-and for the first time I think I'd consider the stay."_ **

That happened about a week before you were practicing some words in your dirty, cracked mirror. You weren't good at expressing feelings (the exception being with Rocky) while you were sober. It was hard to force the words to leave your mouth. With Gaz, even admitting you'd consider staying in New Hope took a lot. But this, this thing you wanted to say to everyone living with you right now. You gulped, and stared down yourself in the mirror. You forced words out.

**"Because you matter to me,**

**Simple, and plain, and not much to ask from somebody.**

**You matter to me,**

**I promise you do, you-**

**You matter too.**

**I promise you do, you'll see,**

**You matter to me."**

You rubbed your face. You couldn't do this. _You couldn't do this. _Even after spending two weeks with these people, you couldn't tell them you cared. You didn't even recognize the face looking back at you in the mirror anymore. Who was that? _Who was that, and why were they here? _ Why didn't life go like it was supposed to?!  
You felt tears in the corners of your eyes again. Nobody was home, you were sure. You let them fall down your face.

**And you matter to me,**

**Simple, and plain, and not much to ask from somebody.**

Zim heard you starting to cry from the other room. He hadn't accompanied Gaz and Dib to the lab, not today. He was tired, and he wanted a break. Hearing you cry made him want to crumble, though. This was so hard for you. He knew. It was hard for everyone, but you were the only one forcing yourself to look tough and unrelenting.

**You matter to me,**  
  
**I promise you do, you-**

Zim made his way to your room, which Brian had now equipped with a basic door, as you insisted on privacy the closer and closer you felt to these people, and the more you felt your outer shell cracking. He knocked on the door once. Twice. You tried to stifle your noises, as if you could somehow convince him you weren't in there.

**Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you,**

**You matter too.**

He knocked a third time, quietly saying your name, trying to coax you to open the door. He didn't want to barge in, but he was...  
"Zim is- worried, friend. You do not often... _cry._"

You paused, before replying (with a bit of anger behind your response,) "No _shit!"_

**As long as you have me,**  
  
**I promise you do,**  
  
**Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you.**

"Please allow me to enter." Zim tried, and he let out a sigh, before he sat down, laying his back against the door. "...This is not easy. The life we have chosen is not an easy one, and it could yield nothing. And yet..."

**You matter too.**

"...we do it anyways." You finished his sentence.  
"Why do we?" Who were you asking? Him? Yourself?

**I promise you do, you-**

Zim laughed a bit.  
"You know the answer to that."

You hated to admit it.  
_**"I do."**_

Zim nodded.  
"I know you care immensely for the people here. But please remember-"  
**_"You matter too."_**

There was a long pause. He'd taken the words right from your mouth.

When you didn't break the silence, he did.

** _"_ ** ** _Promise you do._ **

** _You matter to me."_ **

You didn't think you'd ever heard Zim admit he cared about someone, or something. The thought made you smile. Zim was anxiously awaiting a response from you on the other side of the door, where you now sat with your back against the opposite side.

You took a deep breath, and finally responded.  
_**"I promise you do."**_

Zim's expression curled into a smile, and he shut his eyes.  
"And how exactly are you to prove this to Zim?"

Prove it? You smirked, wiping the remaining tears from your cheeks.  
**_"You'll see."_**

The two of you stayed laying back-to-back against the door for a long time, not saying anything. Everything was peaceful. Serene, for a moment, in all the chaos.

**You matter to me.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first time trying a chapter totally based around lyrics i apologize  
sorry for the delay in posting. stuff has been. yeah LMAO.  
expect a new chapter this week!  
lowdown-cheap-little-punk.tumblr.com  
for them updates  
(should i make a discord server for my x reader fics idk)


	5. She Used to Be Mine (Interlude 1/2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interlude 1/2! Both based on song lyrics. A look into Reader's life before the invasion, and their beginnings in New Hope.  
Interlude 1 focuses on Reader's first days in New Hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm makin two interludes based on two songs i rly like  
they're just flashbacks to reader's old life, and their beginnings in New Hope  
this is the first one based on 'she used to be mine' from waitress  
as in last chapter, lyrics are in bold  
(reader is still gender neutral but i am not changing lyrics to reflect that but reader is NOT female, unless that is how you've been reading them)  
(she used to be mine is gonna make an appearance in another chapter, for more parts of the song)
> 
> lowdown-cheap-little-punk.tumblr.com

**It's not simple to say,**

**That most days, I don't recognize me.**

_Brian had gotten a mirror, somehow. Things like this were rare. Everyone was able to bring a small bad of personal possessions. Someone had, somehow, smuggled a mirror, and Brian had given them some of your sweets you'd smuggled in your pockets in return for the mirror.  
_ _"Because you need to be able to see that it's still you." That was his reasoning. And so you looked in the mirror every day, watching your hair grow, the dark circles form under your eyes, your face break out from the stress. Even though it was only your first week there, you noticed every little change. You noticed how tired you looked. You noticed how defeated you looked. You felt defeated. Your world was over._

**That these shoes, and this apron,**

**That place, and its patrons,**

**Have taken more than I gave them.**

_On your third day in New Hope, you'd started volunteering at a temporary restaurant set up in an abandoned building. Plenty of chefs were around, and they could do a lot with the food they were provided by the delivery drone. You couldn't remember what that food tasted like, though. It was a blur. You put on an apron, and you took orders. That was when the requests started._

_"Oh, I just wish I could talk to my wife one more time..."_

_"What I wouldn't do for a box of Twinkies..."_

_"There were so many family photos I couldn't grab..."_

_That was when your notepad for orders started turning into your request list. You knew you'd never be able to fulfill those requests, but they needed to be written somewhere. You taped them to the walls of your hastily-made home where you stayed with Brian._

_You taped them to the dirty, cracked mirror you looked in every day._

**It's not easy to know,**

**I'm not anything like I used to be,**

_The day you were crammed into a cell to wait for your inspection, you began to change. You talked about yourself less. You cried less. You avoided others. You stopped letting yourself feel.  
_ _By your fourth day in New Hope, working at that 'restaurant', you were a shell of yourself. Brian knew you had changed, and did anything to make you laugh, or smile._

_Anything._

**Although it's true,**

**I was never attention's sweet center.**

**But I still remember that girl.**

_"Come on, tiny bean."_  
Always with the 'short' or 'small' nicknames.  
"Talk to me. Please. This isn't you. I..."  
He was holding back tears.  
"...Don't make me lose somebody else. I remember the person you were. You weren't a big bundle of joy and happiness, but you laughed, and smiled, and you had fun with things. You made jokes. You..."  
He gulped.  
"...Please."

_So that was the first time you let your guard down. For him. And you thought he was the only one you'd let your guard down for. For the longest time, he would be, until a gang of four misfits came into your life._

**She's imperfect, but she tries.**

_You dropped another plate. Another person screamed at you. You didn't want this. You couldn't take this anymore, you didn't want to take this anymore.  
_ _But you still picked up the plate, and apologized. You had to try and accept your new life._

**She is good, but she lies.**

_The note you left Brian said, 'I'm going out to haggle for dessert. Be back by nightfall.'  
_ _You had gone to look at the drop-off area for the supplies. You wanted to scout it out. Just a bit._

_You claimed you couldn't haggle for dessert. Everyone wanted too much._

**She is hard on herself.**   
**She is broken, and won't ask for help.**

_You wanted to code this stupid thing all on your own. You couldn't trust anyone to not report you. You couldn't trust anyone, period, except Brian. And Brian wouldn't approve.  
_ _The code flashed with errors. You threw your phone to the ground and squeezed your eyes shut until you felt like you didn't need to cry anymore._

**She is messy, but she's kind.**

**She is lonely most of the time.**

**She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie.**

_Where was the old you? The person who loved, and who trusted? The person who came home from work covered in condiments and still cracked jokes about it._

_Well-_

**She is gone, but she used to be mine.**

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to update this once every two days, but most likely the next update will be today and tomorrow, as I'd like to get this ball rolling.  
Thanks for reading!  
Edit 10/18 : Best friend informed me the plural of 'Irken' is 'Irkens' as I was writing Chapter 2, so I had to mosey on over and fix that.


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